Lunar Eclipse

The other evening there was a lunar eclipse. I walked out into my snow-covered lawn and stared up to see a really humbling sight. How many others throughout time have gazed up to see such a beautiful display in the heavens and been inspired? It was truly beautiful and I find I cherish them alot more now than I did when I was younger.

Therapy

So I had another therapy session yesterday. My therapist is very cool. She's older, has long white hair and seems very liberal. Either way, she was helpful in narrowing down my problems with depression.

It sounds like much of it stems from emotional dysregulation. I have unreal hysterics and depression over certain minor things that happen occasionally, which then sinks me into depressive funks. She's going to be working with me to help me get the tools to respond appropriately to things that happen. Basically, I have the emotional responses of a 2-3 year old, because they were never able to mature.

The root causes of this, she says, are from a Fundamentalist upbringing, where you are told everything in life is 'black and white'. When you are stuck in an environment of blacks and whites, you develop irrational responses to things after you drift from your Fundamentalist world. As I got more liberal over the years after college, my emotional level wasn't able to cope with things which happened to me. It also sounds like she was insinuating that I may have a mild form or symptoms of borderline personality disorder. On the bright side, she says I don't have BPD, but instead exhibit a few symptoms of it, including the emotional regulation thing.

So things are beginning to make sense. Now I have to come to terms with what was causing that and get the tools to handle things better. At least now I know!

A very sad photo

I ran across this photo and it's one of the saddest photos I've seen in awhile. Some young meth user in NYC's transformation after several bookings and arrests.

You can just see how a pretty girl with a nice smile and maybe even a future full of hope and enjoyment switches photo by photo over into someone who looks like all the beauty, life and happiness has been sucked from them forever.

I wish our government would do more to treat and help drug users. Jailtime is not the answer to this epidemic. Drugs are destroying lives and we are treating them as criminals instead of offering them hope and rehabilitation. The rich should not be the only ones able to afford treatment for this. There is no reason that this poor girl has to be continually booked over and over. Why is no one helping her?

A Pretty Dream

Last night I had a neat dream/story. I was part of a crew of a small spaceship, and we were exploring space and found a very neat earth-like planet. We did a scan of the surface and found signs of life in one of the small corners of the planet. I was the pilot so I swooped us down to land at that location and settled right next to an aged weathering X-Wing looking craft.

When me and two others exited the craft, we saw a concrete and metal bunker nearby and went in. inside, were dozens of people hooked up to colorful sleeping tubes. We woke them up and they said they had been sleeping for years and trying to survive a disease that was ravaging the planet. They were all dressed in these spandex outfits and I promised the leader that I would send help and get them a cure for whatever it was. When I left another exit of the bunker I stared out at the most beautiful scene of wheat fields and meadows stretched up against small mountains in the distance as the sun cast shadows all over the land. There were these big power line supports stretching from the bunker out past the mountains.

I looked down at the ground and saw a dirty worn cootie catcher on the ground among some other debris. I grabbed onto it as a memory of this beautiful place and started heading back toward the ship. A swift breeze blew the paper from my hand and it kept flying away. I ran after it in desperation and this young blonde girl came out from near the bunker, grabbed it and handed it to me. She looked up at me and told me she was dying from the disease. I promised her I wouldn't let her die and that we would find a cure for them.