Lead Foot and Amusing Dream

Does lightning strike twice in the same spot? The answer is yes when it comes to speeding tickets at least. A certain stupid blonde has gotten two speeding tickets in the past 4 days. From never having a speeding ticket on my record to having 2, is a strange thing. So I need to start slowing down. I'm going to be paying up the wazoo for both of these and I'm sure my insurance rates will be going through the roof too. :(

On the other hand, I had a very interesting dream last night. I don't know if it's all the estrogen madness or whatever. Basically, Monica, Jeff and several other people and myself were invited into this huge home theater-type auditorium. On the screen, was a HUGE Pac-Man display that was also much wider than the normal Pac-Man board. We were all given joysticks and 8 people played Pac-Man characters and the other 8 people played ghosts. In essence, we were playing multiplayer Pac-Man and it was pretty fun in my dream at least. I remember Monica and I teaming up our Pac-Men on some hapless ghosts. It was WAY cool! The dream ended when a werewolf came through the auditorium and broke a bunch of glass bottles and joystick controllers. Damn werewolves keeping us from our fun!

When Transitions Go Bad

So last night on MSNBC they had an interesting show on a pair of individuals who began as men, changed sexes to women and then eventually went back to living as men. I was pretty interested in this program to see exactly how it would go and how they would portray things. One of the good things is they related that only about 1% of transpeople regret their transitions.

It was interesting to see these two individuals and hear how they went through transition. One, in a whirlwind of craziness transitioned super quick at age 40. The other, started transiton at 19, ended up married to several men and then divorced and then spent a lot of time alone.

Predictably, they make you wait until the end of the program to find out why they re-transitioned. Finally, it made sense. Both were influenced by their religions to retransition. One was Jewish and joined some group for ex-gays. The other joined a megachurch and wanted to fit in by following the 'word of God'. So there you have it. So basically it came down to peer pressure both times.

Sadly, one of the transitioners kept strangely referring to their old transitioned life be referring to them in the third person, which is weird. "Michelle used to like to wear this", or "Michelle used to do this." Dude....that's YOU that used to do that, idiot.

It was also amusing how when the one who transitioned at age 19 and after twenty years retransitioned mentioned how hard it had been to get down female mannerisms, but when he went back to living as a guy, it just came naturally. Well no kidding, dumbass. Wasn't that a hint you weren't REALLY a girl to begin with?

FFS

So I sent my photos off finally to one of the doctors I had been looking at to get checked out. Facial surgery is nothing to sneeze at and it can cost some crazy amounts depending on what surgeries you opt for and think you need. A lot of it is really subjective.

Personally, I think I need the works done, however the doctor I sent it to believes a forehead contouring/brow lift and scalp advance should do the trick. I was a bit surprised as most doctors will recommend the works from what I hear.

So, I am very excited now! Not only is this particular procedure very affordable, but I could do it pretty soon. This would make a very dramatic change in my life. Am I ready for it? Should I wait? I'm not sure but I'm definitely going to think this over.

Wage Slavery

An interesting concept to explore, is how in our American society there is a sort of wage slavery.

When you think about it, having a wage means you offer your freedoms up in order to work for some entity in order to produce a product or service. As am employee, you can be disciplined, managed, etc, and if you do not comply with what you contracted to sell yourself as, then you are let go.

If you are let go enough, you will have difficulty getting employment at anything but the basest of jobs, therefore it is in your interest to comply. Those who don't comply end up homeless and jobless.

Think of all the movies you've watched about factory life, various difficult jobs, life in the military, life in any corporate or retail job and you begin to see that the entire system is meant to drain you of your creativity and make you pliant and productive as whatever your occupation is. Even the goal of getting retirement at various places for a pension means you will have to offer to work for upwards of 10-20 years for a place. In essence, the system has been set up so that you make yourself a slave.

The exception to this is creativity and entrepreneurism. You can avoid the system by going out on your own as an artist or an entrepreneur, you avoid the system by being beholden to really no one other than anyone else who believes in what you are doing.

Musical Tastes

Music has never really played a big part of my life. I know some people who are so enraptured and enjoy music so much....they are the people who always have iPod cords framing their face nearly 24/7.

When I was growing up, I listened to pretty much crap! Anything I could hear on the radio was good enough for me. My parents didn't want me to listen to anything other than Christian music. High school was even a worse time for music. Between 1986 and 1990, there was a vacuum of horrible hair bands, Lionel Richie, Whitney Houston, New Kids on the Block and a variety of deplorable gunk.

It wasn't until college when my generation had their musical revolution, Grunge, that I became interested in music for real. Grunge was pretty angsty, but then again our generation had alot to be upset about with all the crappy music before it.

Lately, though, since transition, I've found solace in alot of the music before my birth. I love the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, CCR, and the music from the revolution that I feel most comfortable with...the Summer of Love. I wish I was around during that time, because aside from the drugs, it was a beautiful concept of protest and awareness. I can only hope that this current generation wakes up and has their own revolution against the injustices being done in their name.