Horrible Depression

It's hitting me again and it sucks. There's really no reason for me to be depressed and I'm on my meds as well. I spent all yesterday evening when I got home in bed asleep. I felt horrible...even suicidal at times. As I drove home I wondered of unique areas to run my car off the road and hit something without hurting anyone else.

These thoughts are horrible and dark. I don't get why they are happening. I just want to be happy and now it seems as though my medication isn't working. :(

Fable Goodness

Lately, my game of choice has been Fable 2. It is a very well done game and it has so much replay value! In fact I'm playing it through for the third time around because it's so cool.

Your character has the option of being Good or Evil, Corrupt or Pure, Funny or Serious, Straight or Gay/Lesbian, you name it! There's so much to do. You can have multiple families, or no families and your kids eventually grow up as well. Each of your choices changes the appearance of your character. You can buy and remodel your homes as well, and there's all sorts of different clothes you can buy and even dye for your character.

The combat system is way fun too. You can be good at melee, ranged, or magic, or even all three!

The best part though is the storyline and the world they have created. I never played Fable 1, but this one takes place 500 years after that and includes many of the characters being referenced from the first game. There are lots of emotionally charged scenes and the voice acting is great as well. I simply could listen to Zoe Wanamaker's voice forever.

Missing Others

There are a lot of people in my life who I care deeply about. When I am with them, I have the greatest times ever, and when I am away from them, I do miss them, especially right after leaving.

Sadly, though, I've been noticing that I seem to have some problems with the feelings of missing people.

My coworker, today, was devastated the point of crying because her boyfriend was going to be arriving a week later than her was hoping to. She was a wreck. Last year, I remember feeling horrible when I hurt Monica terribly when I had to leave so soon from the visit for her mother's funeral.

I wonder if I am faulty that I can never seem to develop the passion to hurt or ache enough when people I love are not there? It makes me feel sad that I don't have these feelings. While I miss people I care about, I wonder if I am only paying it lip service. What happened to me to make me not feel the pain of heartache from missing those I love in my life?