There are a lot of people in my life who I care deeply about. When I am with them, I have the greatest times ever, and when I am away from them, I do miss them, especially right after leaving.
Sadly, though, I've been noticing that I seem to have some problems with the feelings of missing people.
My coworker, today, was devastated the point of crying because her boyfriend was going to be arriving a week later than her was hoping to. She was a wreck. Last year, I remember feeling horrible when I hurt Monica terribly when I had to leave so soon from the visit for her mother's funeral.
I wonder if I am faulty that I can never seem to develop the passion to hurt or ache enough when people I love are not there? It makes me feel sad that I don't have these feelings. While I miss people I care about, I wonder if I am only paying it lip service. What happened to me to make me not feel the pain of heartache from missing those I love in my life?
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2 comments:
I think about these kinds of things too, especially since Penny is still a month away from returning from Argentina. But I sometimes ask myself: would it help things if I fell into hysterics? I doubt it.
If you want to be with someone, then be with them. If you can't, then it's better to live in the moment with whomever or whatever makes you happy today. Each moment we have is one that will never come again, so it shouldn't be wasted by living in the past or the future. It might distract you from considering possibilities that might lead to something special in your life that you wouldn't want to miss.
I sent you a long, rambling email complete with pictures of an armored mutant pig about this post, beautiful. But I do want to tell you that I do understand, even if the way I miss you is about a million degrees in the opposite direction. I've always found the crying, emotional, bombastic, bat-shit crazy response more natural for myself! =)
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