A Father's Love

I checked my mail over the weekend and noticed a letter from my father, addressed to me with some really nice penmanship. It was a bit worried at first, but he had written me a rather beautiful and sad letter.

In the letter, he went over his misgivings and sadness at the way he raised me, feeling that he didn't bond with me enough. He asked for forgiveness and expressed his great sadness in what has turned into a basic misunderstanding and lack of friendship and communication on our part over the years. The letter ended with the most beautiful statement: "I will love you unconditionally until the day I die."

The next hour I re-read it, cried and reread it some more. I noticed my father has really beautiful handwriting and I don't think I've gotten anything like that from him before. I sensed so much anguish in sorrow in the letter that it hurt to know that he was going through how he must feel.

I called my mother and my dad happened to be out. I let her know that I was going to write him back and to tell him that I loved him and have never had any bad feelings or ill will toward him.

I ponder what to write back to him. He needs to know that he isn't responsible for how I am, and that I do love him and always will love him as well. I have tons of little fond memories of my dad and being with my dad, but also some scary ones as well. But, I've never hated him. I'm going to be visiting my family in early December so we are going to be able to talk more then too.