For some reason, this phrase gets tossed out a lot, especially in reference to homophobic, transphobic, or just among guys in general. I really don't like the phrase "Be a man", because of the connotations that come with it.
First off, it let's look at what sort of things "Be a man" preceeds:
"Be a man, and take your punishment."
"Be a man and do the right thing."
"Be a man about it."
"Be a man and do blah blah blah."
For the most part it is inferred that the person should do something beacuse that's what men are supposed to do. The downside of this is that it is generally assumed that women or non-male stereotypes can't do the particular action.
What it really comes down to is integrity. When someone says "Be a man" they are really saying show some integrity and take responsibility for X. Which systematically has a gender bias that women apparently don't have integrity or the ability to take responsibility for an issue.
Another thing that it does is try to shame an individual in questioning their masculinity if they don't do that. Essentially, if you can't "Be a man" and do X, then you're a feminine wussy.
But why tie something like personal responsibility, strength of character, and integrity to masculinity? I find it wrong that this term is used to shame people into doing the right thing.
A lot of transpeople hear this I'm sure at somepoint during their transition, and it's pretty hypocritical when its said because the person transitioning generally is taking responsibility and taking charge of an issue that needs dealt with in their lives.
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You really should read Julia Serano's book "Whipping Girl" if you haven't already. You just described oppositional sexism (the idea that males and females are opposites and can't share characteristics) and the whole idea of our society devaluing femininity. I highly recommend it!
I totally will, Michelle! Thank you! It just so happens its checked out that moment so I will have to put a hold on it ;)
It's yet another way of linking femininity with weakness- not speaking physically, which is at least a generalized (though hardly universal) truth, but with honor, dignity, and character.
Inversely, I have head the phrase "Don't be such a woman" or Don't be a girl" in reference to boys or men showing emotion or weakness.
Sadly, these sorts of phrases have become so much a part of our culture that they are often used without really thinking of the connotation and implication. Heck, I'm sure I've used them while taunting Halo players online and such. It takes a conscious effort to change the behavior, and that only after one accepts and understands it.
Then be a man and stop barging in on the LGB community and the intersex community.
Wow...brilliant. How many hours of wracking the ol' noggin did it take for you to work your backwards little slam into the context of Colleen's blog post? I mean, wow, totally clever. You managed to insult her, bring up an issue totally unrelated to this post, and prove her point at the same time! Truly inspired!
No wait, no,that's not clever. It's being an asshole. So similar, those.
Then why don't you be a man and choose.
Are you retarded? I ask that in all seriousness. I mean, even someone lacking the most basic cognitive resources would be able to follow the conversation. You're more like... a brain damaged parrot that keeps repeating the same nonsense, hoping to be rewarded with a tasty Saltine.
In short, be a man and go the fuck away. Dick.
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