Things have been well here lately, aside from a sore tummy this past weekend. Not sure what caused it, but it lasted two days, which is kinda unusual.
I've been thinking more about how all the things in my past have helped me weather the rough waters of transition. I think without what I'd been through, I don't think I would have the thick hide able to face life now.
Much of my childhood was rather miserable, being the most unpopular kid in class...being ignored, punched, laughed at non-stop and bullied. Looking back on it, I realize that the horrible things I had to endure wound up making me resistant to that sort of stuff. Five long years from 4th grade to Freshman in high school is what it took to distill an impervious attitude to life. After that, I knew I could face anything. Sometimes, I find myself with a distant "thousand meter stare" of someone who has been through some really traumatic stuff. Every day on my way home for each of those years I had to carefully plan various events in order to get home safely. I only lived a few miles away, but it felt like eternity when you were avoiding bullies.
So now, insults, unless they are from someone I love, are pretty much a thing of the past. I don't know how those who never had to deal with bullying cope with those awkward phases of transition.
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1 comment:
Oh, Colleeny sweetie! I'm sorry you had to go through that! It's not really consolation, but I went through the same things. The bullying, the name-calling, the cruelty...it's not exactly the stuff of nostalgia, but I will admit that it all made me a better person. Through all that, I learned compassion, tenacity, empathy, and- perhaps most of all- patience.
Still, even with a few random benefits later in life, I wish with all that I am, that I could have spared you all that pain, beautiful one. =(
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