I'm not a totally huge fan of music. I love to listen to it, but like TV, I can take it or leave it.There are, though, certain times when youare listening to albums that they speak to you on a level that makes you simply go "wow", or you change your outlook on everything. One such album which rocked my world was Jagged Little Pill.
There was a sense of rage, pain, frustration, and release that made this album change the way I view things. I think it was at this time, in 1995, when things with me sort of began their long spiral. The feelings brought out in this album, the pain of a Fundamentalist upbringing, the feminist rage, the angst and sorrow, led me to search myself and eventually I may have discovered too much that I didn't want to know about myself prior to transition. Only a year later, I joined the military to get away from all the chaos going on in my mind and life surrounding gender and hopelessness.
I can't obviously tie this one album as the cause of everything, but the music and the feelings it invoked provided me more opportunities to reflect on things, which were too scary at the time to deal with.
Have you ever had albums that changed your life in some way?
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Sadly, I'm not a big fan of most music, at least in terms of popular music. For most of my life, my understanding of current musical trends come from passing cars with their windows down. I don't really have a certain album that is meaningful to me, but I have always been fascinated and enchanted by Beethoven's 9th Symphony. I think it's the piece of music I have listened to more often than any other. It has always represented many things to me- uncertainty, struggle, belief, trial, rebirth, triumph, and jubilation- obviously all themes that have had great meaning to me.
For me it was the soundtrack to Raiders of the Lost Ark. I don't know if it was John Williams keen ability to craft an audible description of the emotion and action on screen, or the fact that you can play it in your head (not only the main title theme) for things that you do through out your day! "The Well of the Souls" and "Desert Chase" play well. Even though I did start this comment trying to be a little silly, I'm gonna stand by it and say that even though I'm VERY affected by music, the music that gets me the most is orchestral, soundtracks in particular. Raiders, Star Wars, T2 and more recently Pirates of the Caribbean are a few examples. Perhaps since they are more emotional, and less lyrical, they let me use them for what I need to use them for. No need to change the words to make them fit better...
So, Peter Gabriel
Hi, I'm Michelle,I'm sorta connected online (I think Tabitha links to my blog).
I'm curious about your post, specifically about a little bit of your employment background vis a vis the federal government-I'm sorta in the same boat currently. Sorry for being so damn vague, but its not easy to find kindred spirits who've had that *specific* job background that you mentioned
"Only a year later, I joined the military to get away from all the chaos going on in my mind and life surrounding gender and hopelessness."
Sorry, I'm a little paranoid about the intersection of online privacy wrt trans stuff and my current life, and I'm normally much more straightforward.
There are a million questions I'd like to ask though, if you don't mind.
michelle16309.livejournal.com
mchlskng at hotmail dot com
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